Me, Myself, and Eye

Moments of unexpected clarity rush in more frequently now as I am open to change, dedicated to my own truth (its discovery and expression), and determined to learn from every person situation I encounter in this life. Taking note of moments of synchronicity seems to make them occur more often (it may be that experiencing the moments makes me acutely more aware of them). My emotional state is still unstable, though. I want to see results, feel results. I know a lot of that is impatience and lack of consistency on my part and that is part of the emotional upheaval. Externally, I imagine I seem stressed and/or disconnected. It is true. I see the past, present, and possibilities very clearly. I am grateful for the chance to use the lessons and grow from what I’ve learned by applying it in situations when they are familiar/similar. Still, I am overwhelmed by the emotions that have arisen as result of this new understanding, still fighting the urge to wallow in regret and self-pity because it’s just an excuse not to move myself. I have goals, interests, skills, talents, connections to spirit that I haven’t acknowledged or cultivated due to conditioning. I feel more comfortable know engaging in what fulfils me despite the fear and misunderstanding of others. Following my intuition without consideration or deliberation on misperceptions of those who cannot live for me the consequences of my decisions is something I’ve come to accept I may always have some difficulty with. It is my nature and desire to consider and harmonize others. I cannot do that without being in balance within and so I am learning to release the guilt that comes with making me a priority.

Relevant Astrological transits/placements:

This is the growth potential of my Sun/Moon in Leo
North Node in Aries
Saturn in 1st House
Sun Trine N.Node
Sun/Moon Trine Saturn
Saturn Trine N.Node

Saturn Return (square progressed Sun)
Transit N.Node in Leo  conjunct natal Moon/Sun, trine Natal N.Node in Aries & Saturn in Sagittarius

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