When You’re An Introvert

You grow accustomed to solitude because it feels like home.  It has nothing to do with shyness. A moment of seclusion is like a down pillow upon which you rest, the place you retreat to to learn about and hide from yourself and the rest of the world. When you want to let someone in, to you heart, your mind, your life, it’s like breaking an addiction. You reach out your hand toward another soul and it scares you, the longing you feel to connect being painted by the urge to pull back into the familiarity of your own mind. … Continue reading When You’re An Introvert

freewrite: power struggle

Sometimes, it breathes in me, barely concealed disconnection from the body, expanding with my inhales, blatantly tempting other with each release word written wasted, every feeling hardly harnessed proof of both my hell and of humanity How must I explain the ineffable experience of my own unbridled power, the intrinsic order of human limitlessness? …and the opposite, to which one wise by trial should also pay respect. Brewing despite my denials, is recognition and through every trial, the simmer grows to boil. Who’ll brave baring witness as I spill? Continue reading freewrite: power struggle

Freewrite 1/6/14

freewrite 1/6/14 4:45 pm Heart hurts go far deeper than denial, they are bone, soul, and REM sleep deep, dipping into my daydreams and dense too, I am thick so I hold them even farther inside, Hips so wide you can’t see the weight of wait without work. Contractions without labor become poems without paper. Thick thighed, thick mind, near thirty, third eye re-calcified? Guess I wouldn’t even know, maybe never but nothing lasts forever, not even blind sight right? I write Helen Keller lover letters. Don’t feel me though. Soldier sister’s shoulders born strong, solid, and steady. Hurt hearts are heavy, So, … Continue reading Freewrite 1/6/14

Freewrite 1/18/14

Want weighs so heavy on the back of my pride that it bends in circles, spiraling down my consciousness until it ends and mind can no longer distinguish between the truth of me and imaginings of you.  Sincerely Ingenious Neurosis I’ve sowed and reaped in the barren field of habitual connections and uncertain loyalties.  Ribs crack on impact as gross misconceptions make their way to the center of ventricles leaving me too weak engage the fairness of love and of war. I am aware and yet my words have confused my care and curiosity. Even the most meticulous expression has been rendered … Continue reading Freewrite 1/18/14

AWWJE: Patterns & Personalities

Journaling Prompt: Brainstorm a list of circumstances and people surrounding your recurring pattern. For example, do you tend to attach yourself to “the wrong kind of person”, when you’re scared and insecure, or happy and unguarded? What was happening in your life just before and after each occurrence. Circle(I’m coloring them) surrounding circumstances that seem to accompany with the main pattern. 6.3.2015: Enter the Interpersonal Intrapersona Anytime I’m dealing with a significant change (which I know is necessary and helpful, but I still struggle to accept), I tend to feel stuck. Entering/Exiting a relationship with Voldermort (he-who-must-not-be-named) was a big … Continue reading AWWJE: Patterns & Personalities

AWWJE: Patterns & Pathologies

Journal Prompt: Do you wonder why certain types of events, hurts, or experiences, seem to occur over and over? Or why certain kinds of people keep appearing in your life (and refusing to go away)?n nFreewrite about one recurring pattern in your life. What is the same and what changes each time? 5.30.15 “Waiting in Vain for Myself to Arrive” I have been waiting for a long time, thinking when this money or time came, when that situation is over, when those people are around/away, I’ll be able to pursue my dreams, I’ll be free to be my best self, … Continue reading AWWJE: Patterns & Pathologies

There is no feeling more heavy…

… than the weight of carrying your old self around in search of the new within you. There is no task more daunting and yet more necessary and more powerful than acceptance in the face of that discovery. NO act is more important on a path to authenticity than letting go of the old you to embrace what is now. Each day, I rise to be, my spine protests the weight of memories, regrets, and hopes without expectation, misconceptions, miscommunication, and missed chances. I dust my shoulders in tandem with time. Continue reading There is no feeling more heavy…